Unemployment is down. That means competition for talent is up — which also means you need a talent acquisition process that increasingly enables you to attract and hire the best people. You’re probably already doing many things right, so the last thing you need now is copy-and-paste tips from Forbes or Inc. or any number of other publications or websites. Instead, here’s how to really recruit the best talent — only a fool would ignore these suggestions. (Why the bold typeface? You’ll have to read to the end to find out.)

The Wordier the Better

Keep people scrolling through your job ad as long as possible. Your lengthy write-up should cite relevant acronyms (but don’t spell them out because the best candidates should take initiative to look them up), as well as maintain an air of mystery about the job. Sure, 44 percent of individuals are driven away by vague job descriptions, but that’s just a sign that they might not be able to handle the ambiguity that naturally comes with most roles.

Purge the Personality

You may be tempted to inject personality into your job posting to convey your company’s culture, but this is an employment ad, not a posting on Match.com. If you want a wide range of applicants, you’ve got to keep your ad boring and generic. Save the fun for when people are hired — no need to educate people upfront about your company. Candidates can read Glassdoor reviews for that.

Speling And Gramer Mistaks Are OK

Despite what you may have been told, typos are not only acceptable — they’re preferable. They help show that you’re human, so don’t waste time on spellcheck.

People Love Complicated

Candidates expect consistency, so to match your verbose job ad, be sure to include a complex application that demands a minimum of three hours to complete. Why? Because roughly 60 percent of applicants drop out because of a frustrating application process — it’s the remaining people you want, since they obviously demonstrated passion and perseverance by plodding through all the steps. (Bonus tip: Since completion rates drop by 50 percent when you ask 50 questions compared with just 25, we recommend at least 85 questions.)

The Power of Ignoring Individuals — Part 1

Candidates will often attempt to learn more about your company or a role by contacting your recruiters on LinkedIn. Do not engage with them. The more you keep them in suspense, the more they’ll want to work for you. Likewise, don’t rush to follow up with people after they’ve submitted applications. Indeed, 15 percent of applicants must wait months before hearing anything. Keeping people guessing is one of the best ways to provide a great candidate experience because it gives individuals something to look forward to. Besides, people who get responses should feel grateful — 65 percent of applicants rarely or never hear back about their applications.

Your Time Is More Valuable Than a Candidate’s

This should be obvious. Candidates must be flexible to work around your schedule. If their work and family commitments throw wrenches into your scheduling process now, just think about how unreliable they’d be if you actually hired them.

Name the Time and Place Only

Some companies help prepare candidates for interviews by supplying them with information about their hiring philosophy, sample questions, evaluation criteria, and other details to set expectations. Don’t fall into this trap. Only 33 percent of candidates receive such details, anyway. Your best bet is to tell candidates only where and when to meet. They’re adults. They can figure out the rest.

Emotions Have No Place in Business

When interviewing candidates, remember that you’re there to grill them about their experience and suitability for the role. Discomfort them as much as possible because, hey, work is often uncomfortable. Given that 87 percent of people say that a positive experience can change their mind about a role or company they had doubts about, it’s critical that you don’t make the interview too positive for such candidates. On the other hand, if you’re interviewing someone you really want for a job, this is the best time to hide any negative aspects of working at your organization. Focus solely on selling the role.

The Power of Ignoring Individuals — Part 2

A recruiter and a hiring manager should spend many months going back and forth about prospects before making a final decision. In the meantime, candidates can — and will — wait as long as it takes to hear from you. They’re not going anywhere. And once you do get back to people you’ve interviewed, be sure to send them a standard templated email signed by your chatbot. Artificial intelligence never fails to impress.

Forget the Feedback

Whatever you do, do not ask people for feedback on their candidate experience. Only 1 in 4 employers do that, anyway. If individuals want to provide feedback, they can go to Glassdoor. Speaking of, here’s a fun fact: 72 percent of individuals have shared negative candidate experiences online or with someone directly. But hey, none of that will impact your employer brand or ability to recruit the best talent, right?

Disclaimer: Of course, to make it crystal clear that we don’t actually support any of the above recommendations, we are again using bold typeface: Happy April Fool’s Day!

This information is for educational purposes only, and not to provide specific legal advice. This may not reflect the most recent developments in the law and may not be applicable to a particular situation or jurisdiction.